I used to think – and still do – that Koreans have a wee little problem with space. One only needs to go down a subway station and watch people collide like balls in a pinball machine. The space you are in is between me and the place I want to be, and lo and behold, even if I’d have to bump into you and break something, I shall try and go in the straightest possible line.

Enters China. Dude. One of the reasons they make now announcements in the Hong Kong MTR, asking people not to trample each other to death, is that maybe some of the people using the MTR may have realized that Hong Kongers at their best demeanor are a fucking disgrace as far as the use of two-way doors is concerned. This happened in Korea a few years ago, and starts producing results. Even Koreans have started to acknowledge the markings on the floor showing that one should stand on both sides of the doors, and let people step out before stepping in. Here, the markings are green arrows, on the sides of the security doors, pointing towards the center. The result, if any, is that it draws a battle map for disaster. People wait in a semi circle around the doors, and when the train arrives, people at the front rush to the doors, standing flush with them, while people in the back try and pass them over, wiggling in any nook and cranny that may appear between any two passengers. Works also for elevators.

The result, as you may imagine, is a fine mess. I can’t swear in Cantonese – except to other foreigners, which is not the point – so I use my one other gift from Nature, beyond languages: bulk, density and speed. I managed so far to rotate a few people by 45°, a couple by 90°, and I got one clean 180°. Having played billiards for many years helps too. English galore! The most disturbing part is that they don’t understand why they collided with me, and so hard… At least Koreans understand, most of the time, that what they were doing was wrong, but they couldn’t care less. Here, apparently, the basic notion of two solids colliding hasn’t yet taken firm roots in the collective knowledge base. Ah well…

Enters China, the mainland variety. Don’t try this at home, kids. There, it’s not only that they care fuck all about space and its temporary occupancy by other fellow human beings[?], there’s a gazillion of them. And they pay even less attention, if possible at all, to people around them. I have seen, inside an elevator, a dude trying to wedge himself between a man leaning on the elevator’s wall, and the wall; I thought that while it was dumb as crab meat, maybe he wanted to reach the control panel to press a floor button. Nope. He just wanted to be where the other person was. Which he managed to get, once the previous occupant of the coveted square foot relented and moved away from the wall. Unbelievable.

I haven’t taken the Metro in Shenzhen – the KCR to Lowu was enough – and I guess I am lucky.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 12th, 2006 at 4:27 pm and is filed under Korea, Brain fart of the day, Sino-centric stuff, All you freak are belong to you. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.