DATECHNO(www.datechno.co.kr) has launched its drunkometer ‘AL5000’ designed to take a more precise drunkometer test.

It examines a person’s sobriety with his deep breath in terms of certain time and pressure.

Duhuhuh…

Marmot, can you translate for me, puhleeze? /me not understand…

Next time, try one of these words:
1) boozometer
2) digital output analogue input ethanol content tester
3) breathalyzer
Only one works, really…

Lordy lordy lordy… We’ll deal with the fit-inducing, Hello Kittyish design another time. ENERKEEPER, all caps, so that you don’t miss the barbarism. For Energy Keeper, I’d submit as a humble guess, for the Koreansky version is ‘전기절전기’, aka 電氣節電機.
They patented a new technology, too; it’s called ATW: AUTO TRANS WINDING, all caps again, in case you’d miss it. TRANS being whatever you’d like it to be, from TRANSgression of common sense to TRANSmogrification of the English language. Best bet still being something like 變壓, 변압, transformation [of electricty voltage].

Anyway, it’s supposed to cut down your electricity by 15%. Who cares about Kongrishi and puke-pink if it works, right?

Now there’s a venture for an adroit entrepreneur: custom, on-site remodeling of ugly appliances.

Dilbert would prolly wet his pants. To me, it looks more like on of these GPS trackers that dangerous convicts get when they are released early. Wearable Personal Station. Sure, it does look as heavy and big as a weather station…

The name of the site itself is something to behold: AVING, aka All Visual Internet News of Goods. Konglishi galore.

This marvelous feat of design, the likes of which usually throw Steve Jobs into a transe, is a “데이트 전 입냄새를 측정해주는 기기”, aka a machine that measures your breath before a date. Yup. In Korea, aka GarlicKimchiLand. I shit you not. The country where morning burps in the subway kill flies and foreigners alike. I hope the sensor is fault-tolerant.

That thing is called an E-nose [like you’d put your nose in me mouths, or worse, right?], and

이 제품은 사무실이나 공부방, 자동차 등 밀폐되고 공기순환이 잘 안 되는 장소에서 실내 공기의 농도나 오염도를 쉽게 인식할 수 있도록 만들어졌다. 음식 섭취 후 입냄새도 감지할 수 있기에 데이트나 중요한 미팅 전에 유용하다.

it measures the density and pollution level of the air in an office, in a study, in a car, in places where the air is trapped and doesn’t circulate well. It is also useful, after a meal, to test your breath, before an important meeting or a date.

That equipment should get some sponsoring from Xylitol and the like, I guess. Maybe skew the output a bit… Next time I have 청국장, I’ll try to get that red lamp to light up.

BTW, what the heck is Digital Analogue Technology?

UPDATE
Eeeeeeeeek! They transhortened this piece as Essential gadget to be a good kisser!.

I guess it is going to be easier for the Korean-Americans than the Korean-Germans, say. As a Korean-American, you know you’ll be free to root soon enough for the Red Devils without being called a traitor…